Hi Baby.

I am getting excited about meeting you, and at the same time, I am incredibly nervous. I'm huge and anxious and sweaty and happy all at the same time.

Your growing inside of me has made things interesting with your daddy and me. I see him differently, not just in how he's connected to me, but in how he'll be with you and for you. You make us closer. We share you. I love that about you, and I love that about him. You're my favorite people in the whole world.

I hope I do a good job being your mama. I am afraid that I won't do everything right, but I promise you, I'm going to try. Being your mama is the most important job I ever had, and I'm going to try my very best to give you a beautiful life. I promise to surround you with good people who will love you well, to protect you to the best of my ability, and to comfort you when you are hurt or sad or scared. I promise to teach you what I know about God and love and life, and to be honest with you about who I am. I hope you'll trust me enough to be honest with me about who you are.

I hope that you will not know too much pain and darkness, but I also know that pain will make you grow. I hope that when the hard times come, you'll have lots of tools to help you deal with them. I promise to do my best to share with you the tools I've picked up along the way in my own life.

I wonder what you'll be like...if you'll be able to draw like your daddy, or if you'll love words like me. Maybe you'll love art and literature, but have other passions that we haven't imagined. I wonder if your eyes will be blue like his or green like mine. Sometimes, I wish I had a zipper in my stomach that would allow me to take you out, take a look at you, give you a kiss and put you away.

I don't much like being pregnant. I'm tired all the time, and everything seems very, very difficult. But, I love feeling you move. I love imagining you. I take care of myself better because you're a part of me.

A couple of weeks ago, you were kicking and flipping all around inside of me. It was kind of under my ribs, and it hurt, so I pushed down on you to see if I could distract you. Right where I pushed, you kicked. I pushed again. You kicked. We pushed against each other four or five more times, and it filled me with delight. It's the first time I knew you were responding to me. Last weekend, your daddy put his head on my belly to feel close to you, and you kicked him or punched him right in his face...twice. It made us both laugh. You're a feisty little girl.

Really, you're all I think about anymore. I go to work, I come home, I rest and eat and read and pray, but behind it all, there's you. I guess this is how it will be from now on...you'll come first. All my decisions will be about what's best for you. That's a pretty big deal.

I love you so much, and I don't even know you. I can't imagine how it will feel to hold you in my arms.

Until we meet, with love,

Your mama


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