Me in my body.

There was a season of my life a few years ago where I was doing a lot of yoga. During that time, my most important relationships were rocky. I was financially a mess. I needed to be centered, grounded, and to take care of myself, and yoga gave me this wonderful way to meet those needs. It was gentle, but strong enough to make me feel like I was accomplishing something. I saw my body change, and I was able to do things, week by week, that I wasn't able to do before.

The last few months, I've been working to lose some of the weight that the second baby put on me, and I've discovered that I really love running. I've tried running a few times before, but the most I'd ever run is a 5K. Last weekend, I ran almost 12 miles, and I plan to run a full half marathon tomorrow. On my own, just for fun.

I love the way I feel once I get warmed up and the endorphins kick in. I love the line between wanting to stop and wanting to keep going, and knowing that if I can keep pushing a little further, I'll find a space where my feet feel light, my legs feel like machines, and i can run forever and ever. The only thing that stops me is time and the need to get back to work, back to my babies, back to whatever it is that's in front of me. It's a great escape, and my mind runs free. I solve problems at work that seemed impossible. I come up with ideas for new ways to challenge myself creatively. I think of things to do with my husband, my kids. I'm inspired. I'm inspiring. It's awesome.

I'm in a season of my life where I feel really strong, powerful, and happy. My children are wonderful. Pains in the ass sometimes, but wonderful. My career is in a good place. I'm financially secure - I mean, daycare is expensive and stuff, but I know we're going to have groceries, and we can go to the doctor if we need to. We have nice cars and are able to save a little for retirement. I feel as solid, as grounded, as I ever have.

It is interesting to me that the ways I've found to connect and express my physical self have so aligned with what's going on in my life. When I was at my most weak and broken, yoga was like a blanket that I used to keep myself safe. Now that I feel strong and powerful, I'm running to find space, light, freedom.


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