Who Am I Going to Be?

I'm thinking of changing my name. I didn't change it when I got married for all the reasons that many women don't change their names.

But now that I've had my baby girl, and she shares a last name with her daddy, I want to share a last name with both of them. I don't want to be the odd woman out.

I am sad that there isn't a solution to the name-changing debacle. I've already bought this URL, so I think I'll keep it and remain "Joy Surles" professionally, but I'll be "Joy Gaddy" personally.

It is funny...what marriage couldn't change about my identity, motherhood can.

There are other things I want to change. I realized recently that I haven't moved around much in the last, oh, couple of years. From being pregnant to the rigors of being a mom to a new baby, I've gotten lazy. I eat very well, but without some physical activity, I won't be in the best health I can be...and my sweet baby girl needs to have a healthy mama around for a long time. I want to make a commitment to myself to exercise a bit more often.

I also want to write more. The drought of posting on this blog is indicative of my writing life these days. I write a lot professionally, but lately, I write very little personally. I update the blog for our daughter, but otherwise, I don't do much writing for myself anymore. There are so many small projects inside me, and I'd like to bring them to fruition. I just can't quite find the time.

But I'm going to tell myself what I'd tell a student: start small. Make a commitment to engaging the practice of writing every day, and do it faithfully. I want to work on my memoir, but it's hard to conceive of where to start; however, I can start here, by posting a little bit, now and then, faithfully.

I miss my old self, and I'm excited about who I'm going to be. It seems that birth never stops happening.


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